I am a little behind.  The book Fifty Shades of Grey has been out for a while, and Magic Mike, has been in the theaters for at least a month.  But, I couldn’t not write about this “new” craze that people are calling “mommy porn,” better known under the genre of Erotica.  So, here it goes.

Whether we are aware of it or not, books and almost every form of media have become solely about entertaining us.  Very often, when choosing to see a movie or to read a book, we are thinking about the experience it will give us–Will it make us feel good? Will it make us feel a part of something? 

Perhaps we are too trusting of the media industry, or we value keeping up with the times too much. Perhaps, like I mentioned, we are caught up in how it makes us feel.  But my concern is that we don’t stop and ask “how will this effect me?”  or my favorite question:

Will it make me more whole?

This post isn’t about judging those who have read the 50 Shades trilogy or were the first to see Channing Tatum as “Magic Mike” the striper.  But rather an invitation to discuss what is becoming a culture-wide phenomenon.

Are these things building us up as women?  Are they making us stronger?  Are they strengthening the relationships that we have with the men in our lives?

The Media, deeming this “Mommy Porn,” is equating these things with an incredibly large pornography industry that traditionally targeted men.  However, statistically, one in three visitors to every porn site is a woman. It is a growing issue for both genders, with effects that we may not realize.

When speaking about the negative effects of male usage of porn in marriage, Rabbi Schmuley, in this article says that “Porn portrays all women in one of four degrading, dehumanizing categories,” and that it is a form of sexism. It “makes men get bored with their wives,” and it “cultivates a single standard of beauty that no real women can live up to.”

If this is what happens when a man uses porn, how is Erotica going to affect our relationships? Is it creating a standard of masculinity that real men can’t live up to?

For those who aren’t aware of the hype, Fifty Shades of Grey is about the character of Christian Grey, who convinces a recent college graduate to sign a contract in which she becomes his sex slave. From what I have read about the book, it gives us a picture of sex and love in which the woman is in bondage.

True love and sex in its best form, was created to free us, not enslave us. It was created to connect us with another human being, and to make us more whole.

Fifty Shades seems to be an invitation to disconnect from the world and the men in our lives, and in a sense, become enslaved in a fantasy.

You may disagree with me. You may still feel it is just a guilty pleasure.

But is it making you more whole?