If you have been following Redefining Female this week, you know we have been covering the topic of Feminism. Monday, I shared my ever evolving thoughts about the importance of fighting for women’s economic and social rights. And Wednesday, we talked about how women and men need each other, because it is their calling to jointly lead and take care of the world.
So, rather than do our traditional Fabulous Female post, I thought it would be so cool to share a few famous examples of successful working relationships between real men or women that weren’t romantic. Do you know how many examples I found?
Zero.
It could be that I couldn’t find the right language for a google search. I tried “Successful male/female partnerships” and got something about transgender relationships. I tried “successful female/male business partners,” in which the closest find was an article on the top business partnerships in History–all but one of the partnerships, were between men. (The one including a woman, talked about how through her partnership with a businessman, she became rich, yet he basically cheated her out of her company). I tried many variations of the same to no avail.
Does this mean that successful non-romantic partnerships between men and women aren’t possible? That they don’t exist?
No, but I would say that they are rare, and they are not talked about in our world the way that they should be. And, I believe that there are a few reasons for this:
Successful People/leaders are usually loners: Many leader types know how to take control over a company or group of people, but very few of them know how to share that power with another human being. Both women and men can get caught up in the responsibility at hand and not realize the benefits of having another perspective in the mix.
Male/Female partnerships are important, yet difficult: Besides power, I think another historical reason some men have hesitated when it came to inviting women to partner with them in business, is because we are different. We as women approach things differently, and so inviting us in, means change. Finding the right balance of her way/his way and working together for the betterment of the whole, is necessary, yet not easy.
We live in a sex-obsessed culture: Since Freud, the emphasis in our news, entertainment, and story-telling has been on sexual attractiveness, desire and relationships. “Sex sells,” hasn’t only effected the world’s spending habits, it also has negatively effected our ability to see someone of the opposite sex for more than their physical attractiveness–and this isn’t just a male issue! Many times have I heard women talk about a male co-worker’s looks or relationships status, without any part of his attributes as a co-worker coming into play.
So, do we just give up? Do we just say this is the way its always been? Or do we seek to more knowledgeably overcome the obstacles we face as both men and women, believing that our differences can be what make our world better?
I choose the latter, believing we have so much more to gain together.
(P.S. If you have any examples of non-romantic partnerships between men and women, I would LOVE to hear about them!)
September 21, 2012 at 12:04 pm
Melissa –
There is a wonderful church in Lititz that has a female and male as co-pastors. The gal has been the pastor for quite a while and she invited the male to pastor with her. They seem to have found a beautiful balance. I have been in a service where they split the teaching on a Sunday morning and it was so amazing to be a part of.
And – earlier this year I was asked to co-lead a men’s retreat by a male colleague. I asked him why he would want me to help lead the retreat and he said, “Because these guys need to have a female voice speaking into their lives.” I felt honored and respected not only for my gifts and abilities but for my gender. It was an amazing experience and we hope to work together again in the future. it was also very healing as I have rarely experienced that level of respect working closely with men.
I think you are right saying that for men to create space for women at the leadership table, they have to be secure enough to allow for a different type of leadership – not better, but certainly not worse. It seems to me that by bringing our unique gifts together we reflect God’s glory in a restorative and redemptive way. While it seems rare, I do think that the Spirit is moving in the hearts of some men, helping them recognize the offerings women bring to the table (and I ain’t talking food!).
Thanks for starting this conversation.
Deb
September 21, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Thanks Deb for sharing these stories! I know they exist, it is just so hard to find them–thank you for sharing these!
September 22, 2012 at 8:49 pm
I know of one such partnership, the authors of the bread in 5 minutes a day, you can find information about them here: http://www.artisanbreadinfive.com/authors-and-photographer
January 3, 2020 at 6:39 am
Hi. I am a business woman, and have been so since 2008. A close male friend of mine recently asked me to partner with him to start a new business. I said yes, because his concept was amazing and our careers complement. The problem is that we have a blurred hI story where we were attracted to each other. At our first business meeting those feelings came back on my part. I feel this is a stumbling blicj that need to be addressed before we can proceed with the business. I personally struggle to see how this partnership is gonna work with underlying sexual tension.
January 14, 2020 at 11:39 am
Hello, I am sorry for not seeing this sooner as I now write at melissaschlies.com . Sounds like those tensions do need to be addressed before you can move forward in a partnership. If they can’t or you can’t move past those feelings, perhaps this friend is not the best business partner for you at this time.