If you have been following Redefining Female this past week, you know that I have shared some of my darkest, unhealthiest sides of people pleasing. But, what I haven’t shared, is that it has taken me over two weeks of writing “almost-posts” to write what I did. Not because they were masterpieces, but because the subject matter hit closer to home than I realized.
When I started writing two weeks ago, I was feeling like people pleasing was this really needed topic for us to talk about as women, and I thought it would be easy to write a few posts about it. But, as I started writing, I soon realized everything I said sounded trite or hollow. I hit a writer’s block head on. I got frustrated. I took a few days “off” of writing, and did what I always do when I get writers block–pray!
I then came back to the subject of people pleasing, in a more honest frame of mind. I began to realize that I was struggling to write about this topic in particular because as a new blogger, I have been trying to please you, the reader. At some point, I became so concerned about that, that I began to doubt myself and what I have to offer. All of these thoughts lead me to reflect on my life of people pleasing, and how I am still trying to accept myself and become a healthier person.
So that is why when, after reading this week’s posts, my husband asked “are you going to include things that have been helping you with people pleasing?” I looked at him and said:
I don’t have the answer.
I am not always going to have the answer. Life is messy, and very rarely can it be solved in three bullet points. I don’t want to perpetuate my people pleasing by pretending that it can be, or that I do have the answer for everything, because I don’t.
If you could relate to our topic this week of people pleasing, I hope that by sharing my struggles, you can see you are not alone. If you haven’t ever struggled with people pleasing or have found a way to overcome it–please share! Either way, thank you for journeying with me, and reading about my struggles this week.
I still believe people pleasing is a struggle for us as women, yet I believe that one day, it won’t have to define us.